Down The Rabbit Hole

I am a university student majoring in International Relations: Middle Eastern Development, with a minor in Islamic Studies and Arabic. I have studied abroad in Tunisia for a session, and at the International Institute of Islamic Thought [http://iiit.org] for a summer program. I've worked at my university's English Language Institute as a Language Partner for international students from the Middle East, and one summer as Assistant Coordinator for forty Saudi students in our SABIC Bridge Scholar's Program. I've been studying both Arabic and Islam for a few years now, and look forward to a professional future in the Muslim world after graduation. For years, people have asked me "Why the Middle East?", "Why are you so interested?", "Why Islamic Studies?"... And you know what? I have no idea! There is no one single, simple answer to give them.

Could never reply: "I grew up there."-- Because I have lived in the same, small, university town my whole twenty years of life.

Never responded: "My childhood best friend was Muslim."-- Because that wasn't till high school. They were Catholic, Jewish, and Hindu in K-12.

Not once was I able to say: "Well, I AM Muslim."-- Because I'm not.

From this constant questioning of my admittedly random enthusiasm, I've become fixated on my own identity as it changes along with my studies. I am a white girl from America. East Coaster in attitude, liberal in politics, and welcoming in culture. Religion has always been one of my things. Since childhood, I've had an unusual curiosity. Yes, I was even that strange kid in fourth grade that did her big project on "Religions of the World", when everyone else did theirs on a pet dog or their summer vacation. [My presentation was amazing, by the way-- complete with a poster sporting a cross, star of David, crescent and star, Om symbol, lotus blossom, and the like.] Until I was thirteen, I strongly identified as an Episcopalian and proud granddaughter of her church's minister. While much of my background is Irish Catholic, my maternal grandfather won out when my parents decided how to raise us spiritually. After my Confirmation, I ironically broke with the Church over some fundamental issues. Needing a spiritual home, I attended a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship through high school, and became attached to Buddhism [something I view more as a lifestyle, rather than a religion]. A Pakistani-American Muslim girl in Drama Club became a very close friend, and I suppose that was my first opportunity to explore and ask questions. After choosing International Relations as my undergraduate major, I selected to specialize in the Middle East before taking more than a semester of Arabic. It just seemed to fit.

And that's what I've been telling people, that Islam and I somehow just seem to fit together. Attribute it to my friend from high school, or watching Disney's Aladdin too much as a little girl, whatever manages to settle your mind. But I know that this is where I belong, and no amount of questioning my reasons or decisions will change that. But it does make me want to figure it out! I feel rather absurd, assuming anyone will care to read my thoughts in the first place, but I've been given enough encouragement lately that I feel an obligation to share them. As a non-Muslim female so involved with Islam, I have a unique perspective that I feel others could benefit from.

So this is what I propose to do in this blog: Explore the world of Islam, what I think about different subjects, how I experience different aspects, and record how I notice myself changing as new things occur. I will talk about my studies at some times, and discuss current events at others. It will just be an all-encompassing forum for my adventure with Islam. I pray I don't offend anyone with my comments, because God knows that is not my intention. I welcome any and all comments/concerns/questions... so don't hold back!

Let the adventure begin!